Current Connection: 1.2

Is your child over scheduled? In Bruce Feiler's "Overscheduled Children: How Big a Problem?" he tells his struggle with determining what is too little, too much, or not enough for his children; extra curricular and after school activity wise. 

Feiler has talked to authors and specialists to find the best amount of extra activities is best for his children. Days can end up "over stuffed", while others are "wide open". Some days there is so much to do, there are activities that have to eliminated from the day in order to get the most important ones done. Play dates are canceled in order to make it to piano practice. Wide open days are the opposite; however, these days you find yourself watching reality TV shows you are just watching to waste time. But how crucial are these overstuffed days to your children?

In recent years, there has been some "backlash" to these views. With scholars releasing studies showing the benefits of extracurricular activities, whether paid for out of school budgets or parents’ pockets, there are several articles posted with the title of, “The Overscheduled Child Myth.” Still, the more common headline reads: “10 Signs Your Kid Is Too Busy.” Feiler, a work at home dad, described himself as "frustrated" and "confused" from these messages.  Being a work at home dad, he is often the one taking children to soccer, and ballet practices, but when do you know if or when your child is over worked?

Feiler talked to specialists, and authors to find out. Michael Thompson, a clinical psychologist and the author of “The Pressured Child,” attempted to put him at ease by telling him, “As a general principle, there is a line between a highly enriched, interesting, growth-promoting childhood and an overscheduled childhood,” he said. “And nobody knows where that line is.” No parent is perfect; although, most strive to be. All that can be done is to attempt to do the best you can by doing what you can. Determining the fine line between making a child an overscheduled child, or an under achiever could drive you crazy. It is simply difficult, and maybe even impossible. 

I would rather have days that are wide open rather than overstuffed. Days that I am overstuffed, benefit me in some ways, but always have me stressed to the max. Taking care of mental well being is far more important than achievements; in my opinion. I, a mother, student, and employee; find a lot of days that are overstuffed. Overstuffed days can be crucial to that well being. 

Although you want your children to take in all they can; paying attention to whether they want to be involved in the activities they are involved in, and have enough time to express themselves is important. It is okay to have days that are wide open.